Pulling weird marketing stunts one day, sharing my secrets the next. Giving you all the behind-the-scenes stuff other entrepreneurs do NOT want you to know. Unhinged humor, gripping stories, and the occasional "WTH-is-this-guy-up-to-NOW" moments. Persuasion experiments & email growth strategy wrapped in infotainment straight to your inbox Monday-to-Friday.
Help! There’s a fatso in my bedroom
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My bedroom has been invaded by some eldritch, Aloe Vera, horror straight out of a H.P. Lovecraft story. It’s a fat, prickly, little fucker… (Sort of like most middle managers, except it’s an actual plant.) And you’d think that when NASA does clean air studies to see if certain plants will keep their fancy pants astronauts from choking on toxic outer-space-fumes… …you’d get something neat, nice and well-behaved. Heck… If you’re a naive soul… …you’d Google Aloe Vera to see what they look like, and you get pictures like these:
…and think to yourself: “Gee, that sure looks nice. Sculptural. Ordered. Neat even.” You’d buy one and think you’re getting a cute little succulent that reaches its soothing, healing, and air purifying tendrils towards the skies like a hopeful toddler reaching for its mommy. But MY Aloe… Grows sideways… And backwards… It leans worse than an East Bloc prole in a dingy dive, wasted on potato fueled moonshine. It’s completely miscolored and branched off… MY Aloe cares SO little about aesthetics it even shoots new, fat, leaves out its own butt! It looks like Ron Weasly -high from huffing butane- smashed a full beer bottle against a minimalist flower pot and waved his magic wand over the foaming glass shards and said: This stingy, little maverick grows however the funk it wants… It looks like its tendrils tear a hole in the fabric of the universe to invade the minds of foolish mortals and start a galaxy destroying rampage. It’s a mottled green that has been awakened by the Elder Gods to cross the empty, frigid space between galaxies to usher in a cannibalistic dystopia on earth, to eat our young, and steal Amazon packages from your front porch. It spills all over the edge of the flower looking like an insolent waiter at a high-end restaurant that snatches food from plates while it looks the shocked patron dead straight in the eye as it chews… Slowly… With its mouth open. This little insolent piece of flora will clean up benzene from the air… (AWESOME!) It’ll clean up mo’fuggin’ FORMALDEHYDE from the air… (NASA says so) But it will not… Repeat: NOT… ...grow in any kind of obedient, beautiful or pleasing manner. This sprawling, crooked, butt-shoot-sprouting succulent does whatever the fawk it wants… AND BY GOLLY I LOVE THAT LITTLE WARPED FUGGA! I'm sharing the tale of this photosynthetic home invasion with you 'cause I’ve used PLENTY of stories like these to get attention and make email sales. I’ve gotten the attention of lots of great marketers and highly respected copywriters while being a complete “nobody”. So if you want to grow your own audience - even though you can’t boast about making millions in sales per month… Then THIS will get you sorted: 👇 https://expert-speaker-326.ck.page/products/the-beyer-infotainment-gala TOODLES! \Frederik Beyer Fun fact: Ohio has generated the most astronauts in the US. Interpretation: People are willing to be strapped to 902,793 lbs of the most flammable source of fuel available to mankind and fired into outer space - just to get away from that miserable place 😆 For more LUDICROUS infotainment… go here 👇 https://expert-speaker-326.ck.page/products/the-beyer-infotainment-gala |
The Copywriting Playground - by Frederik "The Email Revenue Engineer" Beyer
Pulling weird marketing stunts one day, sharing my secrets the next. Giving you all the behind-the-scenes stuff other entrepreneurs do NOT want you to know. Unhinged humor, gripping stories, and the occasional "WTH-is-this-guy-up-to-NOW" moments. Persuasion experiments & email growth strategy wrapped in infotainment straight to your inbox Monday-to-Friday.
The AMAZING Netflix show Pantheon tells the story of a never-before-seen kind of AI that threatens the future of mankind. It turns out this new breed of ultra-powerful AI has a built-in flaw that not only makes them erratic… It also makes them dangerous! Now… One of the reasons I’m a big fan of scifi shows rated 8.5+ on IMDB… Is that I get to sit on my couch, make navel lint sculptures and daydream about my beloved Seattle Kraken making the NHL playoffs again… …because I know this Netflix...
Thousands upon thousands of newbie copywriters have leaned on “Copywork” (hand-copying ads to learn how to sell with words) to grow their skills I was fooled too. Some have even spent 497 American monies, out of their OWN pocket on a course called… *Cough* HourCopy… (…Or something that sounds VERY close to that anyway.) Which is a program where you spend a whole hour hand-copying winning ads… Every… Single… Day. But there’s something online copy gurus hide from you Firstly because selling...
Today you’re getting the closest thing you can possibly get to a “magic bullet” that will make goal achievement automatic rather than something you slave over.Which I'm guessing comes in handy if you understand that there's a connection between being excellent at your craft and raising your rates to reach your financial goals. Anyways... Last Thursday a marketing mastermind member asked: “How long does it take you to develop a habit?” And in my usual: I’m-here-to-help-not-to-please style I...